Crippled Cross

Rob Targos (c) 1998

The church is where they started to preach.
With divine words littered throughout their mighty speech.
But for me, the message is out of reach.
Therefore, I automatically question the way they teach.

Slowly I become very suspicious.
Because I wonder if their motives are really religious.
I suddenly get very scared.
When they say my affliction must be eternally beared.

Born with my bad luck,
This is the way I have been stuck.
On my shoulders, comes down the weight
Burdened with the inability to relate.

I am at a loss to explain the inadequacy I feel
After the request comes for me to heal.
And my embarrassment I can no longer conceal.
Because I know I can never satisfy their ideal.

Since my situation cannot be reversed
I can never escape the church’s holy curse.
How can it condemn
Since God made it happen?

Nonetheless, they still forsake
Because of the judgments they incorrectly make.
It doesn’t matter how much I walk.
Because I know people still watch me like a hawk.

The only thing I can do is pray
For them to eventually look away.
Suddenly I sense their potential to betray.
I just wish they would finally let me go my own way

I could experience such a relief
if they would erase this basic healing belief.
Because it is up to the priest
Until he does it, I cannot be released.